Video Nights
VIDEO NIGHTS: Geteven (director/star in person!)
If the Gods Of Holyfuckingshit! were to descend from the heavens and give us their golden nectar, Geteven would be served in a golden funnel — and you would chug every last drop. In 1993, trial lawyer John De Hart traded his suit and tie for a pair of sweatpants and a machine gun, as he wrote, directed, produced, and starred in this unbelievable piece of work. De Hart plays Rick, a cool cop who likes his shirts tucked in and his women turned loose. After Rick and his partner (Wings Hauser!) are betrayed by the maniacal Normad (William Smith!), we go on a rollercoaster ride of unfiltered insanity: drug deals, gunfights, Shakespeare quoting, Huckleberry Finn-inspired cults, Satanism, soapy baths, baby sacrificing and more! We could go on and on about everything we just wrote, but that would spoil the surprise — the surprise being this entire fucking movie. Fans of Wings Hauser will be blown away by his ability to appear to be on both coke and ‘ludes at the same time. And we GUARANTEE you will want “The Shimmy Slide” to be the song played at your funeral. Geteven is a gift straight from the heavens. Bow before it. Director/star John De Hart in person!
Dirs. John De Hart & James Paradise, 1993, analog presentation, 90 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “Geteven”!
VIDEO NIGHTS: Scream Factory presents "Ninja III: The Domination" (Blu-Ray release party!) + Harmon & Schrab's Found Crap 10
PRESENTED BY SCREAM FACTORY
An absolute Video Nights favorite — it’s Flashdance meets The Exorcist meets Enter The Ninja! When Ninja III: The Domination hit theater screens in 1984, it was immediately hailed as a brave and important film, one of Hollywood’s first to deal openly with the contemporary issue of ninja spirit possession. Lucinda Dickey (star of the Breakin’ mini-franchise) plays an aerobics instructor taken over by the ghost of a bloodthirsty ninja warrior — and when she takes revenge against his murderers (which here equals the entire Phoenix police force), the sword-wielding badass Sho Kosugi must lock horns with our svelte anti-heroine. Even with the above description, it’s difficult (and great fun) to put into words up just how off its rocker this legendary slab of neon delirium really is: from one of the most inexplicable opening sequences in all of martial-arts cinema, in which “the golf course slaughterstorm immediately sets the stage for an IQ-shattering attack against all five senses” (Alamo Drafthouse) — to sexual antics more at home on the planet Mars than in the suburban Southwest — Ninja III will blow your booty to bits. Come celebrate NINJA NIGHT with us dressed as a ninja and we’ll give you stuff! The show begins with the latest installment of found footage fuckery from Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab, both in person (schedules permitting.) Plus, Ninja III stunt co-ordinator Steve Lambert will be here for a Q&A after the film!
Dir. Sam Firstenberg, 1984, 35mm, 92 min.
Watch Cinefamily superfan Brad McLaughlin’s original trailer for “Ninja III: The Domination”!
VIDEO NIGHTS: The Drifting Classroom
Never released on DVD — even in Japan! For the lucky ducks reading this who’ve seen Nobuhiko Obayashi’s masterpiece House, you know that the man knows how to make a crazy movie. The normal language of film you’re accustomed to is left for dead, with virtually every aesthetic choice being completely hypnotic and magical. Loooosely based on the manga by visionary Kazuo Umezu (“Cat Eyed Boy”), The Drifting Classroom’s “international high school” is populated by a ragtag team of Annie-esque English-speaking kids of all stripes. During an impromptu jam session of “Here Comes The Bride”(?!), a tornado hurls the entire school into an alternate dimension time-slip — and as the baffled students and faculty (led by ‘50s teen idol Troy Donahue) navigate through a desert wasteland, giant bugs tear through the children like twigs, a gripping madness immediately sets in with the children, and hell breaks loose at every turn! With an impossible Neverending Story-meets-Twilight Zone vibe, the fantastic and the bleak blend together beautifully with this baby; this one is so face-melting your head will be a panini by the time it’s over.
Dir. Nobuhiko Obayashi, 1987, digital presentation, 104 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for The Drifting Classroom!
VIDEO NIGHTS: Cyborg Saturday (feat. "Manborg" [West Coast premiere!] and "Eliminators")
Suit up, Super Cybernauts! Video Nights brings you a robotical double-header celebration of the eternal struggle between man and machine. First up, the West Coast premiere of Manborg! This giddy, gleeful throwback to ‘80s man-bot cinema (think RoboCop and Cyborg) will blow you away with its low-budget allure and high-budget heart. Hell has risen from below and taken over the Earth, and even a ragtag group of rebels can’t put a stop to Count Draculon and his minions. Who will save the world and kick the bad dudes back to Hell? The title says it all: Manborg will leave you feeling nostalgic and jealous of those with mechanical bods. As if that isn’t enough action for one night, we’re proud to present a rare 35mm print of perhaps the greatest cyborg-ninja-cowboy-scientist movie ever made. Eliminators combines everything you love about ‘80s cinema, all wrapped up in one shiny, goofy metal package. Everything Is Terrible! will also be there to give a brief history of cyborg-cinema with a mondo mix that will melt your metal face and boil your bionic eyes! Manborg cast/crew members in person!
Manborg Dir. Steven Kostanski, 2011, digital presentation, 70 min.
Eliminators Dir. Peter Manoogian, 1986, 35mm, 96 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “Cyborg Saturday”!
Watch the trailer for “Manborg”!
Watch the trailer for “Eliminators”!
VIDEO NIGHTS: 777 (cast and crew in person!)
Tucson, Arizona is a weirrrrrrd place to be a teenager: no natural water for hundreds of miles, poisonous snakes and bugs, and to top it all, you’re in fucking high school. In 1997, a group of freshmen wanted something more, so they borrowed their parents’ camcorders, whipped up gallons of fake blood, and spent over two years making 777. What they may have been trying to achieve, we’ll never know, but what they came up with is truly bizarre and equally astonishing; fans of Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation will appreciate the heart these kids had. In it, a serial killer kills his mother, then another serial killer, and then he meets an additional serial killer — and then a different serial killer tries to kill the serial killer. S.O.V. (Shot On Video) Horror like this comes rarely in a lifetime, and we are super-proud to be the first theater in the world to screen this lost gem. Plus, the cast and crew are reuniting from all across the country for this event!
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “777″!
VIDEO NIGHTS: Geteven (director/star in person!)
If the Gods Of Holyfuckingshit! were to descend from the heavens and give us their golden nectar, Geteven would be served in a golden funnel — and you would chug the shit out of it. In 1993, trial lawyer John De Hart traded his suit and tie for a pair of sweatpants and a machine gun, as he wrote, directed, produced, and starred in this unbelievable piece of work. De Hart plays Rick, a cool cop who likes his shirts tucked in and his women turned loose. After Rick and his partner (Wings Hauser!) are betrayed by the maniacal Normad (William Smith!), we go on a rollercoaster ride of unfiltered insanity: drug deals, gunfights, Shakespeare quoting, Huckleberry Finn-inspired cults, Satanism, soapy baths, baby sacrificing and more! We could go on and on about everything we just wrote, but that would spoil the surprise — the surprise being this entire fucking movie. Fans of Wings Hauser will be blown away by his ability to appear to be on both coke and ‘ludes at the same time. And we GUARANTEE you will want “The Shimmy Slide” to be the song played at your funeral. Geteven is a gift straight from the heavens. Bow before it. Director/star John De Hart in person!
Dirs. John De Hart & James Paradise, 1993, analog presentation, 90 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “Geteven”!
VIDEO NIGHTS: Traxx (star Shadoe Stevens in person!)
His voice oozes sex — his hair is like a golden waterfall. When there’s no one left to clean up the scum — you gotta call Traxx! Broadcasting legend Shadoe Stevens’ (Hollywood Squares, “America’s Top 40″, SoCal’s mythical “Federated Group” commercials) foray into feature film action stardom is equal parts cop movie, spoof, buddy comedy and completely inexplicable Video Nights fodder. After battling his way through El Salvador, the Middle East and Nicaragua, ex-mercenary Traxx retires to a life of baking gourmet cookies — but, strapped for cash, heads to a crime-infested Texas burb to punch pimps, blow up brothels, and mash maniac mobsters for pay. Sure, he may go a tad overboard (slaughtering the entire red light district, hanging corpses upside-down from street lamps, etc.) but the slapstickiness of it all makes Traxx as light as whipped shortbread. Shadoe shows he’s much more than a face for radio — and an onslaught of zingers, Raimi-esque gonzo physical comedy and seriously buzzonkers action makes Traxx truly unique viewing. We do know that if you were to take a drink of water every time Traxx shoots a bad guy, you would drown halfway through the film. Schedule permitting, Shadoe Stevens will be here to introduce the film!
Watch an excerpt from “Traxx”!
VIDEO NIGHTS: American Commando Ninja
“Recoil in terror as you realize that the filmmakers could only afford ONE blank bullet for the entire end sequence.” — Rinkworks.com
“I don’t even know what to say about this movie.” — Letterboxd.com
The Cinefamily would like to apologize for our lack of ninja film screenings since our inception in 2007. However, we FUCKING PROMISE that American Commando Ninja makes up for the loss by a factor of about ten billion! This mid-’80s SOV (shot-on-video) masterstroke contains a plot so vague and unfocused you’ll think you’ve gone blind: a “really good” (read: non-American, non-commando, barely a ninja) guy must travel the globe to fight a gang of bad ninjas who have “germ warfare” and “hocus pocus.” That’s it. That’s the plot!!!! “Hold on,” you ask, “how do they fill the running time?” By making you laugh so hard you’ll wish you brought a suicide capsule to end the onslaught of belly aches. If this movie were a child, you’d want to shake it really hard and say “What the hell is the matter with you?!” Don’t forget to bring your favorite golden analog nuggets to play after the screening for an off-the-wall VHS party: we’re gonna rev up the VCR, grab what you guys give us, and let the good times roll. Only the Cinefamily brings your parents basement to YOU! VIVA LA VIDEO NIGHTS!!!
Dir. Lo Gio, 1988, analog presentation, 86 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “American Commando Ninja”!
Hamburger: The Motion Picture
If you’re going to base a movie on a food, why waste your time with Fried Green Tomatoes or Chocolat? Give the people what they want; boobs, boners, and burgers — and don’t forget super-offensive “humor”, explodin’ fartin’ fatsos, pool parties, and race riots! Hamburger: The Motion Picture follows Russell, a 21 year-old kid (who looks 42) in need of a college degree if he wants to see one red nickel of his family’s inheritance. The one crippling handicap that prohibits this from happening: any woman that crosses his path takes off their clothes and starts fucking him. After a string of lewd ‘n nude conduct, his parents force him to attend the only college that will accept him: Busterburger U! The film’s got a whole cast of kooks sure to offend even the sleaziest of sleazebags: the horny Latino roomie, the horny MILF, the horny Mexican revolutionary, and a gaggle of other horny stereotypes, plus the Chicago Bears’ Dick Butkus as the evil drill sergeant determined to make all of their lives a living hell. Think Full Metal Jacket meets Good Burger! All of this leaving your mouth watering? Cinefamily also has you covered with a full-on burger bar, plus an all-new found footage pre-show focused on fast food/industrial training films. Viva la Video Nights!
Dir. Mike Marvin, 1986, analog presentation, 90 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “Hamburger: The Motion Picture”!
