Holyfuckingshit!
HFS: Airborne
Co-presented by Everything Is Terrible! & the Warner Archive
“Airborne is very likely the most 1990s movie ever made. We’ve got: surfing, rollerblading, street sports, no less than four separate montages (including one, I shit you not, to the song “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred), bullies, an intense rivalry decided by a race, and tons of wailing guitars.” — Filmdrunk
As the film’s totally tubular tagline reads: “How do you become the most popular kid on earth? Take to the sky.” Fuck yeah we will, mís amigos! Bodaciously babelicious teen heartthrob Shane McDermott plays “Goose”: a cooliphonic happy-camper Cali surfer who digs on Ghandi, bean burritos, and big-mamma waves. Shipped off for the winter to the most epically bogus of badlands (Cincinnasty, no worries, brah), Goose, along with his twerp cousin played by Seth Green(!), must fend off the increasingly dangerous squad of school bullies — with only a neon pair of rollerblades to get him out of this digital fart of a situation! Featuring one of the most legit gnarly triple-black-diamond street races ever filmed, this stylin’, shreddin’ paean to good vibes and in-line skating (also starring Jack Black and Edie McClurg) will leave ya breathless, brah!
Dir. Rob Bowman, 1993, 91 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “Airborne”!
HFS: That's Mexploitation! (feat. La Vengaza de los Punks)
Mommy, what’s a HFS night? Well, HFS nights are Cinefamily’s monthly signature screening series of the wildest and weirdest cinematic wonders of the world that can blow your mind and put a smile on your face, may or may not be hazardous to your health, renew or destroy your faith in humanity, but just might change your life. We promise. Each night opens with a homemade long-form video montage of found-footage madness and brain-boiling nuggets focused on the subject at hand.
To modify what our Mexican mamasitas told us about a good man, a real HFS movie should be ¡feo, fuerte…y febril! Ugly… strong….and….feverish! For pure brute in-your-face shameless emotional catharsis, nothing will satisfy your needs for mustachioed melodrama and spitfire sensuality like a good Mexploitation movie. So for Cinco De Mayo, your HFS tour guides are gonna take you on a tour of a world full of machine guns and machismo, brujas and barbarians, nitwit nacos and spicy señoritas. After serving up clips the wildest, weirdest movies from the bottom of the barrio, we bring you la flor y nata: LA VENGANZA DE LOS PUNKS! This post-Road Warrior mis-rendering of “punk” subculture is a violent, crazed clownshow of multi-colored Afro attitude and Viking casual wear — complete with quasi-Satanic ceremonies led by real-life Mexican wrestler El Fantasma (donning a rainbow sherbert KKK hood, and accompanied by naked Frazetta femme dancers.) After these punk escoria rape and machine-gun the wrong quinceañera, a Hispanic Charles Bronson lookalike goes on a vengeance streak that outdoes Death Wish 3 for the innovativeness of his kills. Don’t miss this mondo Mexploitation menudo of madness — IT’S MANDATORY!
La Venganza de los Punks Dir. Damián Acosta Esparza, 1987, digital presentation, 90 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “La Vengaza de los Punks”!
HFS: Countryman
Prepare yourself for a new kind of superhero — the world’s first rasta wizard!! He’s not Superman, he’s not Spiderman — he’s Countryman! In this worthy HFS addition to our Jamaican Noir series, the real-life island fisherman known only as Countryman is cast as the fictional crimefighter namesake with mystical, mind-shattering, shitkicking powers. See Countryman fight the forces of Babylon with ganja-fueled sorcery! See Countryman best ten baldheads at a time with a single flying kick! See Countryman exert mad voodoo mind control on evil white corruptors hiding out on their fancy yachts! See Countryman detonate massive bowls of weed being smoked by the enemy — also with his mind! See Countryman neutralize an alligator with only a red sweater, as he harnesses the powers of Jah Rastafari in his battle for justice! B-movie cheap-o special effects, relaxing montages of island paradise and (of course) great reggae music make this Jamaican drive-in exploitation classic a great big bushel of stony fun.
Dir. Dickie Jobson, 1982, 35mm, 102 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “Countryman”!
Everything Is Terrible presents The Dragon Lives Again!
Co-presented by Everything Is Terrible!
Literal hundreds of imitators have tried to take the throne vacated by the late Bruce Lee (Bruce Li, Bruce Lo, Bruce Lei, etc.), and none of them compare to Bruce Leung and his hallucinatory The Dragon Lives Again. While this isn’t the only film that follows the afterlife of Bruce and his misadventures through Hell — it’s absolutely the best! The Dragon finds himself stuck in Hades, and in order to defend the King Of The Underworld’s throne he must fight (here goes!): Dracula, James Bond, The Man With No Name, The Exorcist, Emmanuelle, Zatoichi the Blind Swordsman, and even softcore sexpot Emmanuelle! “Since this is obviously too formidable of a lineup for even Lee to take on by himself he enlists the aid of fellow souls damned for eternity: Kwai Chang Caine, the One Armed Swordsman and that most accomplished martial artist of them all, Popeye. Yes, that’s right, Popeye. As in Popeye the Sailor Man, the cartoon character.” (Mark Johnston, Shocking Videos.) We truly apologize for not giving this one to you sooner!
Dir. Kei Law, 1977, digital presentation, 90 min.
Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “The Dragon Lives Again”!
Watch a Dracula-riffic excerpt from “The Dragon Lives Again”!
