CINEFAMILY ISLAND SUMMER PARTY (feat. Hard Ticket To Hawaii, The Blue Lagoon, The Beach & Swiss Family Robinson!)

SCHEDULE OF FILMS:
Swiss Family Robinson – 4:00pm
The Blue Lagoon – 7:00pm-ish
Hard Ticket To Hawaii – 9:30pm-ish
The Beach – midnight

Come don your flowered shirt, and bring your anthropomorphic volleyball pal — for as the temperature rises, what better place to be marooned at than The Cinefamily? It’s time to get sunbaked, beach-bummed and all-around enchanted as we celebrate the summer’s start with a lost-at-sea luau replete with a limbo competition, polynesian musicians and (fire!) dancers, cool tropical drinks, and an air-conditioned theater filled with a sweltering quadruple feature of island cinema flotsam. As the palms sway in the lilting breeze and the tiki torches blaze into the night, we’re gonna play you like a steel drum! Put that lei on — we said PUT IT ON! Stop crying! Limbo! Limbo ’til it hurts! Don’t stop ‘til you get enough!

Swiss Family Robinson – 4:00pm
Pure escapism from top to bottom, Swiss Family Robinson is one of cinema’s most cheerful tales of terrifying island isolation. Being shipwrecked never seemed like such a warmly inviting family outing; who wouldn’t want to be magnificently stranded with a resourceful Teutonic clan that can fashion mini-mansions out of logs and palm fronds, stage whimsical ostrich races, hold their own against marauding, scurvy-cursed scalliwags, and still have time to kick back and enjoy soaking up the rays? This glossy period piece entry in the classic Disney live-action canon wastes approximately ZERO time cutting right to the wrecking-their-boat/setting-up-a-treetop-paradise/fending-off-pirates-and-wild-beasts chase, and remains a rousing, rollicking good time fifty years on.
Dir. Ken Annakin, 1960, 35mm, 126 min.

The Blue Lagoon – 7:00pm-ish
Hey, look what the tide dragged in! Why, it’s that incredibly horny, naked turtle-ridin’, placid and idyllic 13-year-old-girl fantasy of emerging sexuality that’ll steam your clam wiiiiiiiide open, The Blue Lagoon. With considerable nudity from its two young leads Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins, this one snagged immediate notoriety upon its original 1980 release, and was a formative moment of anticipatory drool for an entire generation of youngsters. Photographed beautifully by legendary cinematographer Nestor Almendros, this “sensuous story of natural love” is the ultimate teenage dream of what it would be like to be stranded on a deserted island — and is but a thinly veiled excuse to place its tanned and toned shipwrecked teen duo in a series of escalating coming-of-age calamities, most of which involve loinclothin’ it up. And who’s complaining? Uh, no one, that’s who!
Dir. Randal Kleiser, 1980, 35mm, 104 min.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii – 9:30pm-ish
Anyone who tuned into cable TV in the ‘80s or ‘90s after 11p.m. at night, or browsed through a dusty mom ‘n pop video store in the VHS era most certainly will have set their eyes at one time or another on the films of Andy Sidaris, the undisputed king of the “Triple Bs”: Bullets, Bombs and Babes. Featuring exotic locations, absurd plots, debatable acting and bikini-clad bimbos toting massive firepower, these flicks are a total blast to behold — and none are more gleefully ridiculous and fist-pumping than Hard Ticket To Hawaii, Sidaris’ masterpiece of wacky-ass destruction and toplessness. Wearing “barely-there outfits with the molecular weight of cobalt” (DVD Verdict), crimefighting duo Donna and Taryn are out to stop a gem smuggler, a huge killer snake pumped up with toxic chemicals, and other assorted bloodthirsty, sweaty sleazeballs. Also featuring a legendary, gory razor frisbee trick, lush Hawaiian travelogue footage and possibly the greatest use of a rocket launcher ever filmed, Hard Ticket is pure late-night heaven. Hard Ticket To Hawaii producer Arlene Sidaris will be here in person to introduce the film!
Dir. Andy Sidaris, 1987, 35mm, 100 min.

The Beach – midnight
Grab hold of your board shorts and flex your tribal tattoos, for a tidal wave of Y2K madness is heading your way! Think it’s still too soon to dive into Danny Boyle’s deceptively perfect, accidental camp gem The Beach? Tough shit, ‘cause The Beach is ready for you! In this eye-popping turn-of-the-century tale of American arrogance and naïveté, Leonardo DiCaprio (riding high off of Titanic) stars as a goofball, wanderlusty collegiate tourist hanging out in Thailand, who eagerly stumbles onto an off-limits island Shangri-la — and into a culty commune led by Bodhi Tree sex goddess Tilda Swinton. Never not stylistically overheated for a single second, The Beach very quickly descends into a mad surrealistic panic encompassing drug-induced psychosis, feverish computerized “Banjo Kazooie”-inspired sequences, shark attacks galore, and even some sexy, Moby-drenched post-production slo-mo for Leo. This crazy blend of Castaway, Apocalypse Now and The Real Cancun rightly deserves a shiny new spot in the midnight movie pantheon, so come come plant your feet in the virgin sands of this ready-to-be-discovered Millennial freakout.
Dir. Danny Boyle, 2000, 35mm, 119 min.

Watch Cinefamily’s original trailer for “Cinefamily Island”!