7 Lucky Ninja Kids

Co-presented by Everything Is Terrible!

Kids beating up adults! Adults beating the shit out of kids! No regard for copyright law! Adorable breakdancing! This may be EiT!’s favorite kids’ flick, and soon you will know why. Made in 1986, the peak “holyfuckingshit!” year of our lord, 7LNK does you the favor of leaving out any boring lulls by packing one pint-sized punch after another. When “Rocky” returns from America to reunite with his six homies (sporting names like Little Fatty, Two Teeth and Bumpkin), it all takes an immediate turn for the worse when they get entangled into a diamond exchange gone horribly wrong. The second there’s even an ounce of trouble, the kids start kicking ass right away, and when “Big Boss” hears of the kiddie crimebusters, his henchmen (also named Fatty and Dummy?!) follow them through every mall, roller rink and disco in town! Fans of Survivor’s track “Burning heart” will not be let down, for this song plays constantly over the sounds of screaming children and punching Foley art! We’re doing out best to describe all this, but frankly some films are beyond words. They should’ve sent a poet…
1989, VHS presentation, 90 min.

Watch Cinefamily’s trailer for “7 Lucky Ninja Kids”!